Dysmal Nitch Pacific Northwest

All posts by Contributor

‘Freed by the Bell’

Funny-ish, local news

This fall a new comedy from NBBC follows the hilarious antics of a middle aged man going from death-row to front-row! Bay High might seem like the perfect high school but principal Peters can’t figure out which one of the fun-loving students is racking up an alarming murder count! Detective Rikkels has a crazy idea that just might work, use a serial killer to catch a serial killer! It’s a laugh out loud all for the family evening show new this fall.

Dysmal Nitch Dock

6,000 Volts Orca Red Line

Aquatic

“Stay back, do not touch it.  It’s right there, right at your feet, now snaking up the wall at arm level, but definitely do not touch it.  6,000 VOLTS! It says it right there….and there it is, how did you get so close?  Why are you staring at the Red Line anyway?”

Local activists revealed to be ‘hot for each other’

local news, Local Talent

In absolute scandalous local news a handsome young man who we’ll call “Tristan” continues to identify as a gay activist despite having a torrid physical love affair with a beautiful young Lesbian activist who we’ll call “Amy”. Tristan has been working to start a career in politics has put both of their futures in jeopardy. Life never goes in a direction you expect it to – not here, not in Dysmal Nitch.

Fantasy Fudge, Tribulations of Gerry and Holidays in Oklahoma

Food and Diet, Southern

As Thanksgiving approaches let us recall the worst fudge recipe in the history of the world, ‘Fantasy Fudge’ and big Oklahoman family get-togethers that usually resulted in at least a few feuds carried on all year long and an uncle who didn’t get a bicycle so used that as a reason to slide into alcoholism for over fifty years.

Rural Route 2, Oklahoma in the 80’s and lots and lots of spiders.

Paranormal, Southern, Story, top story, UFO

Trigger Warning: there is an abundance of spiders, ticks and scorpions in this story. An animal dies and generally this is a pretty damn dark story, and nobody should read it.

I see spiders. Spiders find me. I have nutty interactions with spiders almost every week. They will slide down a web in front of my face. Come over and sit beside the mouse while I work at the computer. They’ll come and do dishes with me. Spiders are my spirit animal and it’s horrific. Why not owls? Or birds? Maybe a sharp billed Raven. I would take a possum or even a grasshopper. Why Spiders oh’ Universe?

Fat, Sick & Dying – An American Story.

Food and Diet, Southern, top story

In the United States we don’t have an Obesity problem. We have a food additive problem. The B-Vitamins are required for fat deposition and are included in otherwise low-nutrient food sources. Food producers are allowed to put in more vitamin mix then required so that labels can say, “200% of your daily required…” The low-nutrient food sources are also fortified with iron which causes a whole Pandora’s box of health issues such as in white Caucasians, who are prone to hemochromotosis a genetic predisposition to store extra iron. Vitamin C causes an uptick in Iron acquisition and is also commonly added to food and supplemented meaning most people get several times their iron requirements daily. And finally, worth of an entire book by itself: inorganic phosphates that can literally turn your elastic happy heart arteries to stone.

Cursed Forest Lands to Be Re-branded ‘Astor Wood’ in Smart Financial Move

Conspiracy, local news, Paranormal

Visitors and tourists stopping for gas on their way out of town at Curly’s (Pit Stop) often raise an eyebrow at the dense woods across the highway curiously fenced in, as if holding top government secrets. Eight foot tall chain link fence is topped with an abundance of barbed wire, and cameras at the most … Continue reading Cursed Forest Lands to Be Re-branded ‘Astor Wood’ in Smart Financial Move →

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