Tuesday night City Hall will have an expanded session to hear comments from two of our most active theological civic groups Black Lake First Baptist Church and C.T.A.N (Conspiracy Theorists Active Network). [1]
Both typically protest / ‘educate the public’ / get together for potluck, and make various signs on Sunday afternoon. Additionally some people belong to both groups and C.T.A.N has been known to meet in the side hall of the Black Lake Baptist Church. Lately the signs of the two groups have been almost identical, which is creating tension.
The hard feelings began after both sides showed up in front of the Ralph’s grocery store with very similar placard and sandwich board signs last Sunday afternoon (the sun was out).
“THE END IS HERE”
C.T.A.N wants Black Lake Baptist to confine their wording to, ‘THE END IS NIGH’ as to not be confused with C.T.A.N, “THE END IS HERE” Messaging.
Black Lake First Baptist countered with “C.T.A.N sounds an awful like S-A-T-A-N!”
C.T.A.N countered with calling them sheep.
First Baptist pointed out that indeed they were SUPPOSED to be sheep and cited Isaiah:40:11 (Like a shepherd He will tend His flock)
C.T.A.N has stated that world wide municipal police departments have actively infiltrated Christian congregations taking up rolls as pastors and leaders since the time of President Kennedy in order to lead their parishioners astray and compliant with the New World Order.
“The government had to ensure the churches would not rise up, and the best way to do that: infiltrate the leadership.”
–C.T.A.N
The two groups shouted at each other across from the demarcation line (a shopping cart) last week at Ralph’s.
“All they had to do is threaten your jobs and you accepted the mark of the beast!” <– we’re unsure which side shouted this at the other, since they’re dressed very similar and are holding the same signs.
“Two party illusion!” — another person shouted along with, “I’m not updating your web site anymore!” — “Well at least I’m not a mind controlled zombie who believes what I’m told!” Said another person without a hint of irony. “Enjoy your fascism!” yelled back a person wearing plastic sandals. “Are you even a friend to Jesus?!”
With the nicer spring and summer weather around the corner Dysmal Nitch is eager to have things settled so people can enjoy reading the lovely signs outside the store each week.
An official statement from the Mayors office offered love and support to both groups and urged them to settle their differences and focus on their similarities. The Mayor mentioned the annual ‘Crab Feed’ that both groups attend.
Both groups were highly suspicious of the Mayors office.
[1] The Conspiracy Theorist would like to take this opportunity to note they’re not theological in nature, we acknowledge they made that statement.
