We need a celebrity, someone with name recognition to put our community on the map.
I was thinking: RON PAUL
“Why?”
He probably goes fishing, or eats fish, he’s got that old-white-man-who-fishes look about him. Get this: GIANT MEGA OUTBOARD MOTOR. We could build the worlds largest outboard motor as an incentive for his visit. Take the boat out, up and down the river – get the ‘BUZZ’ going. Buzz!
“I still don’t know why Ron Paul.”
He’s got a cool name, it rolls off the tongue. Like two first names smashed together. He looks friendly.
“Like George Bush?”
No, no that doesn’t work.
Anyway Ron Paul does some kind of political this or that, but walks the roof line as to not be contentious – I’m not really sure what he believes but they call him a , “Libertian.” So I assume that’s like a librarian and has some kind of writing or literally angle. Who knows. I can’t be bothered with this. Can we move on?
Yeah, so Libertian, and we have our fourth of July celebrations coming up, real RED-WHITE-BLUE — if the weather doesn’t freeze us out or start to pummel down quarter sized hail like last year – but you know, RED-WHITE-BLUE! ….. so if we could get a fairly okay political figure to go up and down the river with a giant outboard motor (with any luck a super LOUD outboard motor blowing a beautiful blue diesel cloud behind it) and igniting a bag of bottle rockets, well, I think that would make our community the very tip top for the entire state.
We may finally make the news.
“Well that’s some real forward thinking, and I agree with you. Politics brings in all the attention these days but if we pick a third party player we can reap the benefits without risking the ardent or the belligerent!
“How big of an outboard are we talking?”
MEGA.
I want one bigger than the boat itself. One that has side rigging just to keep afloat. An outboard so MEGA that a squad of drones support it from 100ft above on steel cables. Will sound like a hundred hives of angry bees before it even gets started! No strike that – put into the notes, potential for a helicopter assist! Maybe we can get a coast guard helicopter if we give away free hot dogs, put a note in the file will you? Yeah a sticky note. There, no not yellow, I hate yellow. Use this one, pink. Yeah pink will do.
“How will we invite him?”
We’ll have to nominate someone from the town to sign up for one of those social media accounts. We’ll send him a photo of the outboard and an invitation: “Would Love To Have You Visit. We Have A Lot of Fish.”
“You better mention the fish are in the water – that’s confusing. Maybe you should right off mention the Mega Outboard motor…”
He’ll have to pay his own way after we pop all the budget on the Mega outboard motor, but if he times it just right, they might have Sturgeon open for fishing at the same time, and we might have enough early blueberries gathered for a decent pie.
If he visits, we’ll build a concrete statue in his honor and put it up by the library. You know, because he a Libertian.
“Oooh that would be nice, could make it a statue / birdbath.”
Great idea, make a note, pick a different color. Blue, yeah blue this time.
The only drawback I see is it’s mid-August and we probably should have had our Fourth of July Jubilee by now. By the time we get the outboard built from the scrap yard, might be pretty late in the season.
“No blueberry pie?”
Well make a note about the pie, purple this time. Purple for PIE.
