Poutou #1 Orange Cat – Rules For Runners
1.) Do not try to be the person in the magazine. Be you. Find out what running means to you, where you fit. If you hate running, skip it. Take a nap instead.
2.) Try to get in 18 hours (or more) sleep per day if possible. Prioritize sleep. Naps. Sleep about anywhere actually.
3.) Diet? I don’t see the point in carbohydrates, but really I only eat fish. One time I ate a mouse. I ate it raw. I was really super hungry. I wish all food was gravy. Why don’t they make 100% pails of gravy? I need to get my people on this — HUMAN, Human, do this for me, find out why there are no buckets of gravy. Dry food is gross but I guess I eat it sometimes.
4.) Health is an over arching picture of your day, it isn’t something you execute three times a week for forty-five minutes and call it good. Heart disease is the number one killer in humans so maybe make avoiding that a priority.
5.) You’ll probably never be enough for some people. You might not “look like a …” Let alone look like a magazine runner and bad news: we all get older. Screw those haters. Back when I was a kitten, plenty of people thought I wouldn’t get adopted out, I woudn’t make it past year two without being eaten by a Coyote or run over by a car, but here I am living the life – ya’ know? Know what I mean?
6.) Be careful climbing trees. Getting down is hard.
7.) Situational awareness, especially of dogs – see item #6.
8.) “What kind of shoe should I buy” <– first of all never ask Internet strangers this question. It bugs seasoned runners, and for everyone else they post in a million answers, none of which will find you a great shoe.
Go to a running shoe store, they’ll hook you up with shoes. Or like my human does – go online to eBay or a local garage sale, spend anywhere from $1-$20 — and run in the shoe until the soles start to fall off. Done.
Just know that counterfeit shoes are very uncomfortable and very common. Some large retail Internet places have counterfeits which is why I run barefoot on my jellybean toes.
9.) Don’t worry about losing weight, worry about eating enough.
Anyway, this has been #1 Orange Cats guide to running for fun and health.
